B had called me into Whitehall...
"Tricky case Harper, the P.M.'s got a problem in the Balkans and we need you to sort it out... too sensitive to send in force majeur and the diplomatic angles have failed... we need you to secure our sd card from the Victoria Street electronics shop and make sure they don't accidentally publish the details of our new reactor on the web or every Tom, Dick and Mohammed will be going nuclear...'"
"What's the cover story B?"
"You're a beginner harpist who's playing for a funeral in Golders Green and you need to record the event using a special type of software that works particularly well with your 34 string roundback. We've got the harp for you next door: P will guide you through the special adjustments she's fitted to the body... oh, and good luck Harper... this will be your most musical mission yet..."
B gestured me towards the leather door that led to P's gadget parlor of delights - I had my suspicions as to what contraption she had waiting for me but little expected that...
"Yes: you'll have to learn how to play the instrument to know how to operate the extra functions Harper."
"Not normally part of my job description P: is it tricky?"
"For a brilliant double-decker secret agent perhaps not, but for anyone wanting to actually play the thing properly as opposed to kill someone with it and make a clandestine microfilm search in the basement of Curry's maybe..."
I ran my hand along her curved body, admiring the woodwork as they say, before idly reaching my hand to a string...
"G's are the 5th of the scale, located just upward of the blue coloured string which is the F. C's are red... the sequence for the sniper gun is simply A D Bflat D Bnatural D Bflat D, but you can only fire the gun if you adjust the single B lever manually at that point in the tune, otherwise she's harmless... Oh do pay attention 137!"
I'd become distracted by the tuning key that dangled provocatively from the hands of a willowy colleague who'd just entered the room...
"Miss....?"
"Ms Arpeggio... I'm your harp instructor for this assignment Harper, and I'll be showing you how to get the most out of... "
"My instrument...?"
"Plucked of course, not bowed"
I couldn't have said it better...
Jo Harper will be back soon in For Your Harps Only.....
The Blue bell twangs at midnight?
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